Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
