No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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