Who wears a wallet chain?!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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