Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
