clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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