The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
