You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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