Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
