forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
