Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it because I queefed?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
