At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize