And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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