I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sober January is a disaster.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
