He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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