oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
