he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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