whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
