You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it hurts more in the daytime
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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