Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This house was built for laser tag.
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We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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