I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
