So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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