At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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