He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
