How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
