I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
