this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
