Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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