Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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