I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
