she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
