can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
