I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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