New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
