yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
