My room smells like vodka and shame
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
