I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
