I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
