I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize