Well apparently he's into motor boating.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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