So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
