i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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