the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize