Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
