Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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