grandma shit on top of the toilet
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
