evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
