so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize