Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
