I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
