you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
