worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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