Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
