Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
