Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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