your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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