I puked a lego.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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