Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
